LONELINESS

Today’s topic is about LONELINESS. A state in which we all go through sometime or another in our lifetime.

Loneliness affects not only the elderly but also the young when they reach the age of maturity where the “self” develops to a state of mind which recognized itself as an individual self called “I” thus “I am lonely”.

There are three types of loneliness, physical, emotional and spiritual. We shall discuss each individually so that we can recognize it when we are in that state and also the remedy we should seek.

Physical loneliness is a mental state in which a person seeks external physical companionship to fulfill the need. Such people require some form of external activity to sustain the time he or she is left on his or her on. Persons on this nature need external support due to low self esteem and also unable to create some activity to sustain the interest. Basically they have a poor attention span and also poor focus on whatever they do. They need someone to create the activity. For such people they need a support group so that they can have regular activities to keep themselves occupied. It is to occupy the mind so that it is not idle. “ An idle mind is the devils workshop”

Emotional loneliness is more a feeling which welds from the heart, a feeling of heaviness that one cannot explain but can surely feel. Usually this is due to the loss of a loved one or a feeling of being rejected, or a failed relationship or marriage. This feeling prolongs itself for as long as the person does not face up to reality and confront the issue. Usually self-denial suppresses the feeling and coping with it makes it worse. To overcome this feeling one needs to speak to someone who is able to help release these pent up emotions. Sometimes time heals all wounds so allowing time to heal a broken relationship or feeling of rejection also helps; only it can take a long time. In the interim it is necessary to engage in activity which allows the mind to move away from the relationship of feeling the lost of a loved one. Being too attached to someone or situation may also compound this feeling. Knowing that everything you see is only temporary and that nothing is permanent help you to have a reality check that all relationships will end one day. That the lessons we learn in life in broken relationship or marriage only makes us stronger.

Spiritual loneliness – of all three states of loneliness this is one which I will spend time to discuss. Many people who have all the material well being sometimes openly declare “I have everything and yet there is the feeling of emptiness in me which I cannot explain”. For some they may say yes I pray daily, I go to places of worship and yet I do not feel connected to God.

You see we may go to all the holy places; we may go to places of worship and do all the penance. It is of no use if you do it as a ritual. Just going through the motion without understanding what you are doing and just marking your attendance. One act of devotion with the purity of the heart is worth more than the hundreds of pilgrimages which you do on the physical level.

The next time you pray or go to a place of worship place your mind on your heart and reach deep within your heart and with all the intensity that you can summon ask God to fill your heart with thoughts of Him. Ask Him to fill your heart with Love – His love which is Unconditional love. Do this regularly, not only once a week but daily if you can even in your own home – since God is omnipresent He hears your every thought. Speak to him invite Him into your heart. Last weeks posting on “Building A Relationship with God” will help you to understand why this is necessary.

With intense love and desire to experience the Divine your wish will be granted. Slowly you begin to feel an opening and blossoming of sorts. The feeling of emptiness will slowly begin to fade and you know something has happened. Just be thankful that is a life

changing moment for you. When your heart is filled with love all the feeling of loneliness shall fade away because you can be alone and yet not alone as you are with God. You can be in the midst of hundreds of people in a crowded yet you are alone – with God. Isn’t that wonderful.

Your search for God must be what Christ expressed when He said “But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul.”